High Dragon Bump Read online

juicing, and no torch hair either, please. I just didn'tunderstand what you wanted at first. Now, if I could talk to yourcaptain--or, are you the captain?"

  The Cirissin replied, "I spoke man. Name Orealgrailbliqu. Capitate nodsparking merry can languish. I only earning languish. Gut, hah? Treewhacks."

  "Uh, yeah, very good indeed," Wayne said. "And in only three weeks! Now,Mr.--you don't mind if I call you O'Reilly, do you? Well, then,O'Reilly, do you have any suggestions as to how I should go aboutgetting you a high dragon bump? You want me to make you one? Or--"

  "Yukon mike?" O'Reilly asked.

  Wayne shrugged modestly. "Of course. With proper materials andequipment--and enough time." He wondered if there was any chance at allof convincing O'Reilly of that.

  "Nod mush timeless," O'Reilly said doubtfully. "God gut lab tarry, fewwand lug."

  Wayne hesitated, partly to translate O'Reilly's rumblings and partly tomarvel at an audacious idea taking shape in his mind.

  He said, "Uh, yes, by all means. I _do_ want to look at your laboratory.Let's go."

  The Cirissin offered no objections to Sheilah accompanying them, so theyfollowed him, pulling themselves along the tubular corridor by means ofmetal rings set in the walls, apparently for that specific purpose.

  It was the same means of propulsion employed by their guide, except thathe used tentacles instead of hands.

  They were more awkward than he, and so they fell behind.

  "Listen, mister," Sheilah said. "You're not really gonna help thesecreeps, are ya? Cause, I mean, if you are I'm gonna stop you--one way oranother."

  Wayne looked at her, feeling a deep sadness that anything so gorgeouscould be so stupid. Stirred to self-consciousness by her near-nudity, heglanced quickly away.

  "Why don't you quit trying to think?" he advised her. "I may not be ableto make a high dragon bump, but so help me I'm going to do my damnedestto see that they get one. And don't you get any stupid patriotic ideas.You just keep out of it. Understand?"

  O'Reilly had thrown open a door and was waiting for them.

  Wayne looked inside.

  "Smatter? Dun lake lab tarry?" the Cirissin asked after waiting nearly aminute for some comment.

  The laboratory probably wasn't adequate to produce a hydrogen bomb,Wayne realized; but he wasn't at all sure. It was the most complex,complete and compact laboratory he had ever seen. Its sheer size forcedhim to revise upward his estimate of the overall size of the ship.

  Much of the equipment was totally alien to him, but there was also agreat deal that he could at least guess the purpose of. Including afabulous array of electronic equipment.

  When Wayne still didn't say anything, the Cirissin closed the door."Batter blan," he announced. "Wheeze india buck terth. Cup girlish ear.Torch herf youdon brink high dragon bump."

  Wayne said, "Huh?"

  "Flow me." O'Reilly led Wayne and Sheilah through a maze of corridors,tunnels and hatchways, stopping at last to throw open a door and letWayne peer into the control cabin of a miniature space ship.

  O'Reilly jumblingly explained that it was a reconnaissance ship, usedfor visiting the surface of a planet when it was impractical to land themother ship.

  The control board was simple: a few dials, one or two buttons, severalswitches and a view plate. It looked too simple.

  Wayne said, "Now, wait. Let's see if I have this straight. You want meto take this ship to earth and swipe you a high dragon bump. And you'regoing to keep Sheilah here and torture her if I don't deliver the goods,huh?"

  The Cirissin said that was right. "Kwiger butter. Jus bush piggestputton. Token ley tours gutther."

  "I see. And what about communications?" Wayne asked. "Is the boatequipped with radio? How can I let you know when I have your high dragonbump?"

  O'Reilly said, "Can't. Combundlecations Cirissin only."

  From his further explanation Wayne gathered that communications betweenthe two ships was on the basis of some sort of amplified brain waves,and could carry only the brain waves of Cirissins.

  Wayne considered the situation.

  Two hours to get to earth. No radio. The big Cirissin ship was circlingearth at an unknown distance, unknown speed and unknown direction. Andalthough the ship was enormous, it would be impossible to spot it fromearth unless you knew exactly where to look.

  He said, "It would really be better, wouldn't it, if I could make thehigh dragon bump right here?"

  O'Reilly agreed that it would be better.

  "Well, let me try. You've got a good lab, and we have plenty of time.Twenty-four hours, you said? Well, give me about ten hours in thelaboratory. If I can't produce a high dragon bump in that time I'll takethe small ship down and get you one. Okay?"

  While the Cirissin thought it over in meditative silence Wayne was awareof Sheilah watching him with cold, hostile eyes. He wished he couldexplain things to her, but he didn't dare try.

  Finally O'Reilly said, "Hokum. Tenners in lab. Thistle."

  "It'll be enough," Wayne assured him.

  * * * * *

  Sheilah was taken back to the room where Wayne had met her and theCirissin instructed her to stay there. He closed the door but did notlock it. Then he took Wayne back to the lab.

  "Neediest hulp?" he asked.

  "Hulp? Help? Uh ... Why, no. No, thanks. I can manage fine by myself. Infact I'd rather work alone. Fewer distractions the better, you know."

  "Hack saw lent. Wheel buzzy preparation. In trol room few deriding hulpneeded." Then O'Reilly floated out the door.

  Wayne was astounded. He'd taken it for granted that the Cirissin wouldinsist on supervising him, and he'd been evolving elaborate plans forescaping his attention.

  But Wayne thought he had the explanation for the Cirissins' idioticbehavior.

  This ship and everything about it indicated an extremely highintelligence and an advanced culture.

  Everything, that is, but the Cirissins themselves.

  The idea of kidnapping him from earth to provide them with a weapon todestroy earth; kidnapping Sheilah to seduce him; the idea of evenexpecting him to be _able_ to produce such a weapon--it was all idiotic.

  There was only one explanation that he could see.

  The Cirissins _were_ idiots.

  Some other race had produced this ship. These cosmic degenerates hadsomehow gotten hold of it and were on a mad binge through the universe,destroying all the worlds they didn't like.

  He wondered how many they'd already wiped out. They had to be stopped.

  Wayne immediately started constructing a radio transmitter fromconvenient materials in the laboratory. It was fairly simple.

  He was not interrupted for nearly two hours. At which time he was sayinginto his improvised microphone:

  "Seven hours? That long? Can't make it any sooner than that? Five hours?Six?"

  And then it was not a Cirissin voice behind him which said: "Drop that.Put up your hands and turn around!"

  It was Sheilah.

  Wayne turned and saw her floating at the doorway pointing a long,tubular metal object at him, her finger poised on a protruding lever.

  "What's that?" Wayne asked.

  Sheilah said, "It's a gun I found after lookin' all over the damn ship.I'm going to kill you. And then I'm going to kill your Cirissin friends.You're nothing but a dirty traitor, and I wouldn't seduce you if--Inever did trust you scientists. Maybe I'll be killed, too, but I don'tcare." She was close to tears.

  "You're going to kill me?" Wayne said. "With that? How do you know it'seven a gun? Looks more like a fire extinguisher to me. Aw, you poorlittle imbecile, I haven't had a chance to explain yet, but--"

  Sheilah said, "You make me sick." She pulled the trigger.

  The object was not a fire extinguisher, after all. It was quiteobviously a weapon of some kind.

  Also it seemed obvious that Sheilah had been pointing the wrong end ofthe weapon toward Wayne.

  One more obvious fact that Wayne had time to comprehen
d was that theweapon was not a recoilless type.

  But by then Sheilah had gone limp and the gun had rebounded from hergrasp and was sailing at Wayne's head.

  He ducked but not fast enough. The object whacked him solidly on top ofhis head.

  His brain exploded into a display of dazzling lights, excruciating painand deafening noise.

  Then the lights went out and a long, dense silence set in.

  When Wayne fought through the layers of renewed pain and opened hiseyes, he was still floating near his makeshift radio equipment in thelaboratory.

  Sheilah still hung limply in mid-air near the door. The tubular weaponwavered near the ceiling. The radio transmitter was